Friday, January 2, 2009

Seinfeld

I was thinking. Since I've been in Japan I've gotten 2 roommates hooked on Seinfeld. So, at some level it has played a role in my time here. Also I've gotten 3 new seasons as gifts since I've been here, which brings my total up to Seasons 4-9, plus one disc of Season 3. Don't worry, I've owned 1 and 2, and they aren't that good. But anyways I thought I'd give you 10 that would be worth your time, along with a quote. Maybe you too will become a fan:

*The Marine Biologist (Season 5) "The sea was angry that day, my friends - like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. I got about fifty feet out and suddenly the great beast appeared before me. I tell you he was ten stories high if he was a foot. As if sensing my presence, he let out a great bellow. I said, "Easy, big fella!" And then, as I watched him struggling, I realized that something was obstructing its breathing. From where I was standing, I could see directly into the eye of the great fish." "Mammal""Whatever." - George

*The Junior Mint (Season 4)
"Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint -- it's delicious!" - Kramer

*The Chicken Roaster (Season 8)
"The greasy doorknob, the constant licking of the fingers. He's hooked on the chicken, isn't he?" - Jerry

*The Package (Season 8)
"It's a write-off for them." "How is it a write-off?" "They just write it off." "Write it off what?" "Jerry, all these big companies, they write off everything." "You don't even know what a write-off is." "Do you?" "No, I don't." "But they do. And they're the ones writing it off." "I wish I had the last twenty seconds of my life back." - Kramer and Jerry

*The Race (Season 6)
"There are no delicatessens under communism." "Woah, why not?" "Well, because the meats are divided into a class system. You've got pastrami and corned beef in one class and salami and bologna in another. That's not right." "So you can't get corned beef?" "Well, you know, if you're in the Politburo, maybe." - Kramer and Mickey

*The Puffy Shirt (Season 5)
"You're going to be the first pirate!" "But I don't wanna be a pirate!" - Kramer and Jerry

*The Shower Head (Season 7)
"If I don't have a good shower, I am not myself. I feel weak and ineffectual. I'm not Kramer." - Kramer

*The Wink (Season 7)
"I still can't believe you're going out on a blind date." "I'm not worried. It sounds like he's really good looking." "You're going by sound? What are we, whales?" - Jerry and Elaine

*The Letter (Season 3)
"I sense great vulnerability. A man-child crying out for love. An innocent orphan in the post-modern world." "I see a parasite. A sexually depraved miscreant who is seeking only to gratify his basest and most immediate urges." "His struggle is man's struggle. He lifts my spirit." "He is a loathesome, offensive brute. Yet I can't look away." "He transcends time and space." "He sickens me." "I love it." "Me too." - Unnamed older couple

*The Ticket (Season 4)
"Yes, I admit I was speeding, but it was to save a man's life. A close friend. An innocent person who wanted nothing more out of life than to love, to be loved, and to be a banker." - Newman

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